Month: August 2019

A Way Out: KH Vanitas Drabble

vanitas xehanort kingdom hearts

He’d learned that he existed, but not why. Just the simple act of having a face instead of being red-eyed darkness was so agonizing, Vanitas nearly passed out. “Weak,” he hissed to himself, pacing again on the dead sand of the Keyblade Graveyard.

Master Xehanort sent Ventus away, just as Vanitas insisted. He couldn’t even suppress his impulse to hurt Ventus or maybe even kill him for being the original heart he was torn from. And at the same time, he missed having the blonde boy nearby.

Stupid. Vanitas scowled, and a few Unversed appeared. He couldn’t control them either half the time. All the time. Was there anything he couldn’t mess up? He should be part of Ventus, back where he belongs, instead of — whatever passed as his miserable existence.

More Unversed appeared in swirls of darkness. “Tch.” Vanitas walked away, but they followed and tumbled over each other. Anxious. Afraid. Sad. Lonely. The stupid expressions right on their dark faces. If you could even call them faces.

A monster spouting monsters, futureless and worthless without Ventus. He wanted to be back with his brother in the Land of Departure. But Vanitas couldn’t be there, and he didn’t want to be here. Everything was so pointless.

“Stop it!” He called on the Keyblade and it came, one thing he could manage. Whirling around, he cut through the Unversed trailing him.

Vanitas felt every cut in his body, in his heart, and the pain and despair fed into more Unversed, and he kept going, he couldn’t stop, what else could he do? Exhaustion and agony finally caught up with him… Hours or minutes later, it didn’t matter.

The Keyblade disappeared and Vanitas dropped to his hands and knees. Sobs shook him, ragged breaths escaping, and he clawed at the sand. He hated this. Himself. This place. Everything.

“Vanitas,” Master Xehanort interrupted neutrally. “There is a way out for you.” Vanitas looked up, dirt and tears staining his face. “To achieve salvation, you must unite with Ventus and become the χ-blade.”

He smiled, and Vanitas dragged his tired body to his feet. “Don’t you want to return to him?”

“I can go back to Ventus?” He wanted to. Vanitas didn’t want to be alone anymore. He wanted to have a purpose. Most of all, he was done hurting like this. “I’ll do it.”

“Good,” Master Xehanort observed. “I will take you on as my apprentice. When you know all you need to, only then can you become whole again.”

Vanitas breathed shakily, a weakened tremor running through him. Of course — he was too weak to be with Ventus. Master Xehanort would break him in, make him good enough to go back. And this pain could all be over. “I’ll do anything. Just you watch.”

BioQuest: Coming Storm

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Relief washed over the clinic collectively once Ryan and Sullivan left. And as much as Elizabeth knew that she had to see Grace and the Rapture Family as soon as possible, she wanted to take this opportunity to check in with those she considered family.

Who knew when that would happen again?

She pushed aside the nagging thought, walking over to Jack by the doorway leading out of the clinic. His expression softened as her hand rested on his arm, and she revelled again in the good that came of all this– they were dating.

And by pure circumstance, Booker already knew about it (saving her the anxiety of that discussion even if she knew he’d approve). It hardly seemed real, which was almost comedic given everything else that had happened.

“Jack,” she asked the unspoken question. So much changed in a matter of hours and most of it impacted him directly.

Art by Neon Bairon on dA

“I’m alright.” He smiled, putting his hand on hers. “Better than alright. I’ve reconnected with my mother, and now we have the chance to unite Rapture and end the bloodshed. Plus, I have you at my side,” he rushed, his nerves winning over his confidence. Elizabeth chuckled, glad for the attempt regardless.

“You’re sweet,” she consoled him from his embarrassment. “And I know we can see this through together.” Feeling bold, Elizabeth kissed him on the cheek and earned a bright smile from him– and Diane over his shoulder– before she made her way to Booker.

He was working on his gun with his back turned to the group, a sure sign he didn’t want to be bothered. Which was too bad for him because Elizabeth wasn’t taking no for an answer at the moment. There simply wasn’t time for that now.

“Elizabeth,” he sighed in begrudging acceptance. “Congratulations on finally moving forward with Jack.” He set part of his gun aside, though she wasn’t sure which part it was.

“Seems you didn’t inherit your mother’s nature to take the first step. Unless it comes to hitting me with a wrench,” he tacked on sarcastically, though without malice. “That, you can do with no trouble.”

“Har har,” Elizabeth deflected, crossing her arms with a teasing smile. “You know that’s not why I’m over here.”

“I imagine not,” he answered, letting her take the floor from there.

“With Sullivan… What were you two whispering about?”

Booker set the gun down on a nearby desk, turning to her with a grimace. “Nothing pleasant.” It was a warning rather than avoidance for a change, and her silence was his go-ahead.

“Ryan’s gone mad with power, everyone knows it.” Booker stared off in the direction they left in as if his disdain could still reach him. “He had Sullivan murder an artist, for Christ’s sake.”

Booker had no love or respect of artists, especially those in Rapture, but at least he wasn’t behind their arbitrary murder. Well– he’d probably allow the murder of Cohen. Elizabeth waited silently for Booker to continue, and he obliged.

“This Culpepper woman was supposedly in league with Atlas,” he explained, obviously skeptical. “Not that Ryan has any proof but a random conversation they had over a year ago that could’ve been with any Anna in Rapture.”

In that instant, she remembered– when they had made their stand against Fontaine that let him fake his death and she spoke to Ryan on the radio, giving her name as Anna. Unable to fight the habit, her hand went to her short pinky and she ran her fingers over the metal cap.

Bless him, Booker badly pretended not to notice and dropped the subject. “It’s weighing on him because, like every soul trapped down here, this isn’t what he signed up for. The next target from Ryan is Bill McDonough, one of the few truly good men on Earth.”

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows at that. It wasn’t easy praise from Booker, who generally assumed everyone was terrible.

“He’s got it in his head to kill Ryan, and of course Ryan knows it. There’s not a damn thing Sullivan can do,” he sighed, picking up the pieces of the gun again to do something with his hands. “But if a third party were to step in before Sullivan’s men got to him, and if that party had an agreement with Ryan, well… That’d change things.”

What do you want to do, Elizabeth?

– – –

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BioQuest: Contract

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Tenenbaum pushed her way forward, crossing her arms once she was in front of Sullivan and Ryan. “Jack may care only for the people of Rapture, but we don’t work for free. Our price for this bargain is all the chemical supplies and equipment given to Suchong, or there is no deal.”

Jack’s gaze went to the new desk to replace the one she found Suchong on– and his eyes were faraway. Elizabeth wanted to reach out to him, but with the present company… She stepped towards them as well, drawing herself up.

“And as Sullivan himself knows, we are worth any price. I’ll be your liaison to the Rapture Family,” she explained, firm but calm. “It’s a pleasure to work with you, Mr. Ryan.” And Elizabeth offered her hand with a small smile.

“But it doesn’t have to be,” Booker tacked on, making his point known. Sullivan pointed a half-hearted glare at him, at any rate.

And yet… Ryan smiled, taking Elizabeth’s hand. “I enjoy your proud, entrepreneurial spirit. Let’s see you make good on your word.”

BioShock_Infinite_Burial_at_Sea_-_Episode_1_Trailer

The next few moments passed quickly but awkwardly as Ryan stepped out of the clinic while Sullivan and Booker exchanged harsh whispers and the rest of them comforted the patients at the clinic.

Elizabeth hadn’t expected his agreement to be so easily acquired, though she expected the skeptical comment at the end… Ryan really had latched onto Jack. It was a miracle he was letting him remain here instead of moving him elsewhere. As if Jack would allow that, of course.

What do you want to do, Elizabeth / Tenenbaum?

– – –

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Cloud Strife Analysis

Happy birthday, Cloud!

To celebrate his existence, I figured I’d do my thing and analyze his personality.

Of course, please be aware…
Spoilers Ahead

cloud-strife-advent-children-anime-cloud-ffvii-strife.jpg

A lot of strange wibbly wobbly science/magic things happen to Cloud at the end of Crisis Core and through FFVII, so the best place to begin is naturally the start.

Nibelheim
His friendship with Tifa sheds a lot of light onto who Cloud was growing up and how he differs from the larger personalities found in the FFVII cast.

His father died when he was young and aside from Tifa, he didn’t have any friends. In a discussion Cloud has with her about his childhood, he said, “Later, I began to think I was different… That I was different from those immature kids [her friends]”.

There is a crossroads here for his thoughts behind this sentence – either he really believed them to be immature or he rationalized that he was better than them to cope with his difficulty making friends.

Based on the loss of his father at a young age and his continuing desire to be better throughout the series, I’m inclined to believe it was a rationalization to help himself adjust to his struggles in making friends.

The issue with that being that instead of trying to make friends in his own way, as he did with Tifa, he convinced himself he didn’t need them – that he was better than the rest. This further increased the divide between him and other people, and his ability to socialize and connect to other people took a fairly serious hit.

But it also put greater value in the friendships he did have. So when Tifa’s mother died and she tried to see her by crossing Mt. Nibel, Cloud followed her to keep an eye on her.

This was another formative moment for him because when she misstepped and he tried to catch her, they both fell. He was unharmed and she was in critical condition.

The village believed it was Cloud’s idea to go up the mountain and as a result, her father wouldn’t even let Cloud go near her. The only friend he had.

He tried to be the hero and do the better thing, and it all fell apart. For someone who suffered loss at a young age and coped by thinking he was better than others his age, this was even more devastating.

The harsh realization that he wasn’t as good as he thought (with such severe consequences) combined with the rejection from everyone in the village was sure to wreak havoc on 10-year-old Cloud’s psyche. And so he developed a temper problem and began picking fights with little to no provocation.

SOLDIER
Four years later, word of Sephiroth’s reputation reaches Nibelheim and 14-year-old Cloud, who is still in the throes of self-blame and puberty.

Hearing about such a legend re-inspired Cloud to become the superior person he used to think he was, in my opinion, and with so few personal ties to Nibelheim – of course he left for glory in SOLDIER.

To reinforce that theory, Cloud arranged to meet Tifa at the village’s water tower to say he was leaving and promised to save her if she ever found herself in trouble.

It’s strong evidence that he still blamed himself for her injury and that drove his need to be better – so he’d never fail someone he cared about like that again.

Taking a step back and viewing this as a writer, that’s what I love most about Cloud. He’s relatable. Zack is insanely charming, Angeal is dad-wise, Genesis is extra fab, and Sephiroth is actually superhumanly powerful. Cloud is there to aspire to greatness as a Shinra Infantryman.

His honest ambition to improve humanizes the story and makes it more accessible than having the top tier people of Midgar alone.

Return to Nibelheim
After befriending Zack, Cloud sees him about once a year for missions – one of which was when he was 16 and involved an investigation of a reactor on Mt. Nibel.

Cloud still feels ashamed of not being SOLDIER, not being better, and he hides his identity from everyone but his mother… But the most important aspect of this mission is his confrontations with an unstable Sephiroth.

The first time, he’s knocked out by Genesis and becomes angry that he failed again. Everything he wants to be is escaping him, and since he holds himself to such a high standard, he’s bound to frustrate himself.

Cloud is steeped in that bitter anger when Sephiroth burns down his home town, killing his mother, and Cloud finds him with a heavily injured Tifa and barely conscious Zack…

It’s the worst moment of his life that he can’t forgive himself for, only worse, and this is a chance to finally do it right, be the hero he wants to be.

He ambushed Sephiroth, stabbing him with the Buster Sword, and going back for his two friends. This is a proud moment for him, what he’s aspired to be was finally within his grasp. His friends were in danger and he saved them from Sephiroth. The Sephiroth.

So when Sephiroth returns and lifts Cloud up on his sword, ready to kill him, this stepped on years of rage at failure, inadequacy, and a powerful need to protect the ones he cares about.

That’s where the strength came from for Cloud to use the katana as leverage to throw Sephiroth into the Mako pit… Before falling unconscious, of course, because he’s got his limits.

After that point, he spends about a year as a Mako poisoned vegetable, so that’s the end of this analysis… Although I hope you enjoyed the read! Questions, comments, etc., go for it!