That’s My Secret: Demyx Fanfic (Kingdom Hearts)

Another day at the castle, another day bored to death. Undeath? Second death? He didn’t even wanna think about that. Demyx flopped his limbs out on the couch, whining. “Man, I’m bored!”

Axel say across from him, toying with the dangle on his cloak pull. “Tell me about it. Even getting a nap in isn’t doing it for me.”

“Engh.” And they sat in the Grey Room in silence, no one coming around and neither of them budging.

And then Ax perked up, a devilish grin lighting up his face… Which was gonna be good news or bad news, he never really could tell ’til it was too late. “Y’know what? I got an idea.”

“Like, uh,” he started, sitting up too. “An awesome idea, or…?” The worry was all over his face, Demyx knew it, but that didn’t change a thing for Axel.

“Sure thing! Trust me,” he said the least trust-inspiring thing ever, grabbing Demyx by the arm and pulling him through a dark corridor to the rush of warm, dry air and the smell of… was that goats? Sweat? Nothing good.

“The Coliseum?” Demyx questioned, drooping at Axel’s side already. “Ah, all they do here is fight.” He really wanted to believe Ax had an idea that wasn’t that. Somehow.

“Yeah, and winners get munny,” he answered, putting one hand on his hip and making a rolling gesture with the other to imply… Something.

“Yeah. Aaaand?” Demyx squinted against the sun and remained doubtful that Axel’s idea was really any good.

“Can’t go out and have fun without munny, right, Dem?” He draped an arm lazily around Demyx’s shoulders, drawing him towards the entrance to the arena. Ugh, there just wasn’t any telling Axel no when he got his mind set on something. “C’mon, I wanna see that sitar of yours in action.”

The arena was already not his favorite place, and with Axel and Demyx fighting side by side, now it was even worse. Fire and water clashed into misty humidity, clinging to him like sweat as if the cloak wasn’t even there. And Demyx hated that, like a lot. Where’d they even get this many Heartless?

Demyx glided across the field on water while Axel zipped around, and their friendship meant they were already pretty good at reading each other’s movements before they made ’em. So they were good, but fighting really sucked no matter what. He was tired, damp, and he wanted to go home for snacks and a nap. Ax was having a blast, anyway, flinging those disks around and dodging with a boast. But he was winded too… Maybe he’d finally be tired of this? Demyx reeeaaally hoped so. Then of course one of those big guys showed up, slamming his belly and rushing at Axel outta nowhere.

“Aww, crap,” Demyx whined, calling up pillars of water to topple the creature before it hit Axel. Right behind it was Demyx, water in his wake, and he summoned another cluster of pillars beneath the Heartless to finish it off. They were tough, and if Demyx was feeling spent magic-wise, Axel was definitely done.

But hey, he did it! The Heartless faded, not a creepy reminder of his own nonexistence at all. Demyx dropped back on his butt, flopping to lie down in the empty arena with a groan.

Axel started laughing, leaning over to offer a hand up. “Hey, you really had it in you! Nice save.” Reluctantly, Demyx took the offered hand, basically letting Axel do most of the work getting him on his feet. Everything was sore, and he had work tomorrow! Ewwww…

“Ugh, don’t tell anybody. Especially X-face,” he added on in a hurry, waving his hands frantically. Just the thought of Saïx knowing he’d been holding back scared him. Think of the extra work!

“Sure, sure,” Axel answered, brushing it off casually and turning back to the door they came from. Demyx was way too happy to follow knowing this nightmare was finally over. “Maybe you’ll teach me a thing or two in return, Dem.”

“Ennnhhh,” he whined, and Axel just laughed again.

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Axel with chakram from Kingdom Hearts

Day 3: Training



Created as part of the 8 Days of Axel Challenge
Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 | Day 8

Axel fell back, breathing deeply, swinging one chakram in his hand and staring Xaldin down. Out of all the top-ranking members, you’d barely see this guy at all. He was a one-size-fits-all sort of Organization member — intel, combat, magic, recon, you name it and Xaldin took care of it. And he usually did, if he wasn’t here trying to catch up on sleep. He was a busy mother hen and the fact that he was training Axel one-on-one in combat was probably somethin’ special. As much of a heartfelt gesture as any Nobody could muster, anyway.

“Focus, Axel!” Xaldin’s voice boomed across the white-and-grey (and now a little red) training room, a lance whipping across the room with the full force of his wind magic. “There are no breaks in battle.”

Axel pushed himself out of the way, smirking and launching a chakram at Xaldin as he dodged. A lance blocked it, Axel called it back, and another two lances came at him — it was all a blur, a real whirlwind. Xaldin sure knew how to live up to his title.

And his promise. An enemy will not hold back on you. Neither will I. Training with me will be outright combat that will only cease when you land a hit. Knowing this, are you certain you want to proceed?

Axel didn’t have much of a choice. If this scheme of Saïx’s was gonna work, he’d need a capable extra hand. Had to be someone who knew about that girl in Radiant Garden, someone he could trust. And who could that be but his old best friend? If Axel was useful to the Org, he’d be useful to Saïx. And it’s not like he had anything better to do, right?

He had more than his share of scrapes and bruises from this ‘training’, but he was kind of having fun. Or something like it. He and Xaldin never did much together in Radiant Garden outside of constantly kicking him out of the castle and less confrontational chats during his painfully short apprenticeship under Ansem. But he’d always been a what-you-see-is-what-you-get guy. None of the cloak and dagger act he found at every corner in this place, just a simple, honest fight. And Axel couldn’t help but notice that Xaldin wasn’t hovering as high off the ground as he’d been when this all started.

“Just me, or are you starting to flag, Xaldin?”

Xaldin chuckled, barely audible with all this wind, and three lances tailed Axel that time. He only just knocked two away, dodging the last in a close call that left another scrape behind. Crap, Lexaeus was not gonna like sewing all this up. “What’s the matter? Hit a nerve?”

“Enough!” Xaldin rushed on the wind to bring the fight to Axel, which was just what he wanted. Axel guarded himself with the chakrams and set off a bunch of small bursts of fire nearby to wreak havoc in the air near them. Totally a blind guess, but hey, he wasn’t exactly winning this match as much as holding Xaldin off. Worth a try.

Lances clattered to the floor, no way to tell how many, but Axel took his chances. He jumped forward and slashed at Xaldin, narrowly grazing him as the beast of a man pulled himself out of the way with wind. A less impressive attack than Axel wanted — and probably a deeper cut than Xaldin really would’ve preferred.

Then it all stopped, just like he promised. Axel’s breath came with a lot of work but Xaldin looked like he could keep this up for at least another 30 minutes. Man, oh, man he was a tank. Axel couldn’t lie, it was pretty rewarding to know he’d managed to land a blow on their first training match.

“Well done, Lea—”

Axel recoiled just a little, eyes wide. Did he really just say that? Xaldin sighed irritably, shaking his head. A dark corridor opened up behind him and without another word, he stepped back into it.

Lea in KH3 on clocktower

Day 2: Emotions

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Created as part of the 8 Days of Axel Challenge
Day 1 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6| Day 7 | Day 8

Lea spent a ton of his time lost in thought once he was back to being — whole. Recompleted, they called it, but that didn’t feel quite right. There were these gaps in his memories where he knew something was missing. It’d be real nice to know what it was, but ‘course it was never that easy.

Not like he just had to that to think about. There was this icky storm of feelings he’d been without for years and years, and every day brought something new to think about. Kairi talked to him about how they might be able to bring Roxas back, which meant they could do the same for Naminé if any of it even worked. All he could say to her was “I guess so.” Hope was a lot to, well, hope for.

He’d died twice already, and Lea just wanted to set things right this time around. There was some guilt and regret from everything he’d done in the past. Then there was that bit of hope and right on its heels was the fear of being hopeful. All of it worried him on top of the whole mess!

But things had finally turned around once Ventus was back. Lea really started to believe he was actually up to the task this time. Late, sure, but still. Having hope wasn’t as scary for Lea as it’d been in training with Kairi — after all, things were going his way now. Seemed like as good a reason as any to go celebrate another chance.

So that’s how he ended up on the clocktower, three popsicles in hand, watching the sunset and apologizing again. And to someone who wasn’t even there, but whose fault was that? “Well, Roxas. I should’ve been there for you by now. But here we are.”

“Shouldn’t you say goodbye to your real home?” He knew that voice anywhere, but he looked anyway. Saïx. Isa? Lea couldn’t fight the surprised, even hopeful gasp. ‘Course, that kicked up a whole hive of emotions all over again. Dammit, Isa.

“Why…?” There is was again, just when he was starting to get a handle on all these emotions. The hurt that he would come here, now, to do whatever he was scheming — it hurt more than Lea wanted to come to terms with.

But Isa just had a seat, calmly and naturally like this was his living room and not his old spot. He crossed one leg over the other, locking eyes with Lea. “I’m not here to fight. Relax.” Deftly, he snagged an ice cream from Lea, who grumbled as it slipped out of his hand.

“Hey!” He swiped after it, but no luck.

Isa tilted his head one way and the ice cream in the other, studying him with gold eyes Lea wanted to recognize. Or maybe he didn’t. Ugh, this was impossible! “You can’t eat all this. Why did you buy three of them?” Lea sighed, looking down at the ice cream in his hands as Isa continued. “One for Roxas… and two for good luck?”

Lea turned away, hearing the soft, crisp sound of Isa taking a bite into the sea salt ice cream. “I don’t know. Because I felt like it, okay?” More things he just didn’t have answers to. The empty spots in his memories that made him feel like he had to do things that didn’t make a lick of sense. Lea scoffed, turning that frustration on Isa with a frown. And he’s just eating Lea’s ice cream like it’s nothing. “Why are you here?”

“Got it memorized?” He even mimicked the lilt of it a bit. And that made it all worse. “Back when we were still friends, we used to sneak into the castle.”

“Yeah,” he responded, regret bleeding into his voice. ‘Back when we were still friends’, like it was all over now. If this was to answer Lea’s question, this was gonna be a big one. Not something he was sure he’d like.

“And we made a friend there, a girl. We apprenticed to Ansem the Wise to rescue her.” Isa told it like a documentary instead of something he knew already. And Lea wasn’t having any of that either.

“Yeah, and we failed!” He jabbed at Isa with one of the ice creams, snapping, “One day, she was just gone!”

Saix turned to him with a bit of something in his eyes, a feeling Lea couldn’t place. Not yet, anyway, and it was gone just as quick as it came. “You gave up.”

His voice was level, like he had nothing more pressing than a passing comment to share. Lea knew that was all for show, right then and there. Isa was telling him about how he was hurting. Because of Lea. After all this time too… why’d he wait so long to say something? Lea couldn’t look Isa in the eye, so he turned away.

“I did not give up.” A shaky breath escaped him, but he cut that short fast as he could. Had to get a grip on this whole ‘heart’ business somehow. “One day, we’re apprentices. The next, Ansem the Wise has up and vanished. The day after, we’re Nobodies. Day after that, we’re doing icky jobs for Xemnas.” The helplessness of those days rushed back to him, and Lea ended up gesturing emphatically with the ice cream at that point, admitting more than he meant to. “I couldn’t keep up with you!”

Might as well’ve just said what he felt from the start. Knowing what that was, exactly, would really help with that. Isa listened studiously, evenly, unreadable as ever through it all. When he replied, it was calm enough that Lea could actually look at him. Isa’s face was distant, his ice cream half-finished. Looked like Lea wasn’t the only one preoccupied.

“Following Xehanort’s Nobody was the only way to discover what happened to her. She was his lab rat.” Isa didn’t look or sound any different, but something was off. Lea didn’t even have to think about it. That was a nice perk to the new feelings, anyway. Time to change the tone of the conversation.

“So? You found her? I helped you rise up the ranks, so I hope it paid off.” He gestured to Isa with the ice creams, casually and almost playfully this time. Sitting here, talking like this was — kind of comfortable. Familiar. His heart warmed up, the indignant anger swapping out for nostalgia. Man, hearts were a lot. It was like they’d never stopped being friends even if Isa just said it in the past tense. He was here, and not to fight. Could it be…? Nah. Had to be wishful thinking. Probably.

From that look on Isa’s face, a faint glare out at nothing, Lea already had the answer about her. “I’m afraid not. Nary a trace.” Isa looked to Lea and for a moment, he really felt — something. “I started to wonder if we’d imagined her. Maybe she never existed.” His voice took on more emotion, layers where it was usually dry and monotone. Even as a vessel, he just more and more Isa as he sat here and talked. ‘Course he’d force his way through that, just like everything else they went up against. “And then, in time, I awakened to a new purpose.” His face steeled over, serious and driven. “I realized I could be stronger.”

Lea scoffed again. All this for that in the end? He couldn’t keep from talking with his hands, ice cream or not. “Well, then, you blew it! Wise up already and just quit.” He really was grasping at straws here, Lea knew it, but his heart was screaming for Isa to come back home. He was here, not for a fight but for ice cream and a chat, and they were talking in truths for the first time in years. It had to mean something. Just had to.

“Face it,” he started, turning to face Lea. “Roxas is just like our other friend. Gone forever.” Even if his expression showed he didn’t really mean it — he was pushing Lea’s buttons to get a reaction, and of course he knew it — it stung. He was gonna get that reaction, alright. Lea squeezed his eyes shut, turning away, pushing the hurt down. “Gone forever. You need to accept that.”

“You wish!” He lashed out, scowling at Saix. “I’m getting her back. All of ‘em!” Lea pointed with the ice cream at Isa again, who just took another bite casually. “Especially Roxas! I’m even dragging you home!” He hadn’t even thought that part out, no second guesses, just said it and meant it. That finally felt right to him. “Complete.” Isa had finished off his ice cream, leveling that watchful gaze at Lea again as he held the popsicle stick out over the town below.

“The marks under your eyes.” He looked at Lea, almost fondly if his gaze wasn’t so distant. “They’re gone.” He sounded — impressed? Surprised? Concerned? Ah, how the hell was he supposed to know what Isa felt when Lea just figured out what he felt?

His eyes widened and wandered, and Lea felt lost for just a second. He scoffed, trying to keep up the spirit of what he just said. “Yeah. Don’t need ‘em.” Lea put on his best determined look and still somehow felt like he was a child again — this time with his childhood friend just within reach.

Speaking through the small effort of standing up, Isa kept on talking. “Always told you they’d stop you from crying. The upside-down tears.”

The memories of that phrase, raw and packed with baggage, pushed Lea over the edge. How he could cut right to his core like that, dredge up all these feelings when he had his heart locked away, Lea couldn’t even guess. “Would you get lost?” He waved Isa away with the ice cream again, shaking melted drops of blue at their feet. He put on a frown, pointing at Isa with an ice cream one last time. “I’ll clobber ya tomorrow!”

And would you believe it, Isa smiled. Even chuckled. Opening a dark corridor beneath him, he held to that smile and look straight at Lea. “I expect no less.” He closed his eyes, almost content, and was swallowed up in the darkness. Gone like he’d never been there, and yet it felt like he’d never left at all. Lea’s heart was heavy — with hope, with remorse, with longing. Lea let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, looking away from where Isa was just standing.

There it was. Sadness. The hollow spot of a friend you missed like crazy. He sighed again, turning his attention back to the sunset. He couldn’t bring himself to eat the rest of these, not anymore. Isa was right again. He couldn’t eat these all on his own. He needed people to share it with and he knew exactly who his heart wanted.

Axel talking with Sora in KH2

Day 1: Traitor

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Created as part of the 8 Days of Axel Challenge

Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 | Day 8

Man, dusks were such a pain. Axel loosely swung one of the chakrams in his hand, trying to find an out of this. It wasn’t looking pretty for any of ‘em, and someone still had to go and get Kairi from Saïx. “I think I liked it better when they were on my side,” he joked, trying to put a dent in that negativity. Not to much effect.

“Feeling a little regret?” As bright as ever, Sora teased him right back. Axel smirked over his shoulder to that dorky grin that looked so familiar, tugging at his heart.

“Nah, I can handle these punks.” He shook his head and laughed to himself. What a way to wrap this all up. Seemed about right for him, considering everything. “Watch this!”

He leapt right into the thick of them, drawing on the fire always on hand and pushing it through every last inch of himself. Axel strained to keep himself together as long as he could, the roar of the flames mixing with his wordless shout as it all went white-hot for a second. A minute. Who even knew?

It was all quiet for a second. No more dusks, no more fire, no nothing. Then he felt it. Pieces of him, slipping away. And Axel couldn’t even bring himself to sit up.

“Whoa!” Sora’s voice reached him somehow, his footsteps muffled as he ran over. He knelt down and Axel turned to face him. Wasn’t doing much of anything else. All these years, taking in traitors to the Organization — and he was the biggest traitor of ‘em all.

“You’re… fading away.” Real concern in his voice, on his face. Axel felt a twinge of a smile come to his face against his will. He’d forgotten what it was like to be cared about. Or to care about someone else. Roxas reminded him of that, and he chased that down like a shred of light in a dark world. He didn’t realize just how dark until Roxas. And he was willing to throw anything and everything away to have that back.

“Well, that’s what happens when you put your whole being into an attack. You know what I mean?” He scoffed. What an idiot. Why’d it have to come to this? “Not that Nobodies actually have beings, right?” Axel steeled his expression, his voice following suit. Just like the old days taking out Vexen and the others. “Anyway, I digress. Go. Find Kairi.” But it couldn’t last, could it? Never did. “Oh, almost forgot,” his voice softened just a tad. What a mess he’d made of everything. “Sorry for what I did to her.”

To be a traitor was to betray your friends, your country, or your principles. That was the by-the-book definition of it. What were you when the “or” became an “and”? Was there anyone Axel hadn’t turned out to get what he wanted? He wanted to do right by Saïx, so he killed just about everyone at Castle Oblivion. He wanted Roxas back, so he put Kairi in danger — and so many others. And when he did that, he turned his back on Isa — Saïx.

“When we find her, you can tell her that yourself.” So certain everything would turn out alright. Silly. Just because you have a next life.

He looked away, not quite up to facing him for the moment. “Think I’ll pass. My heart just wouldn’t be in it, you know? Haven’t got one.” The dark laughter wasn’t helping the whole fading bit, but there wasn’t any helping that now. Anything that made him feel better now, however terrible, was worth it.

“Axel,” he said, a question lingering in that one word. “What were you trying to do?” Searching for answers like always. Axel wasn’t about to deny him that now.

“I wanted to see Roxas.” Sora moved a bit, but Axel wasn’t about to check his expression. He was getting sentimental as his life left this form that never should’ve been. Frankly, Axel wasn’t sure he could take much more of it. “He… was the only one I liked. He made me feel… Like I had a heart. It’s kind of funny.” But here, he couldn’t fight it anymore. Axel had to look at Sora, regret and nostalgia and longing all mixing into one. “You make me feel… the same.”

No, he was being selfish again. This is what Saïx wanted so badly from him too. To remember what it was like to have a heart, to have a friend, and he betrayed him when he needed him the most. His oldest friend.

The Roxas I know is gone. Fine. I see how it is.

He and Saïx really hadn’t felt much different in the end. But Axel was so caught up in what he felt, what he wanted, he didn’t pay attention to Roxas or Saïx. Some friend he was.

Axel looked down. He’d left everyone behind him worse off than they’d been before, and he had to set it right in the few seconds he had left. Axel’s smile disappeared. “Kairi’s in the castle dungeon. Now go.” With the last of his strength, he lifted his arm and forced open a dark corridor. He just hoped it would stay up — after.

“Axel.” It was the last thing he heard before it all went away. Almost peaceful, really. Maybe there would be a next life. Maybe he wouldn’t mess it up quite so bad.